From Heather to Heather

Yesterday, while at the Riverton FamilySearch Library where I serve a mission, there were about 3 patrons there, and all being helped. I felt very useless. I was late that day (again) and felt really disappointed in myself. You see, I tend to beat myself up about silly things like that. Things that normal people forget about 30 minutes later. I was really slacking, and I had already been honestly very depressed that morning, and that past couple of days. I felt like everyone was so disappointed me for multiple reasons, and the feeling of disappointing people, for me, is the worst thing that could ever happen. I was about to break down into tears for reasons that even I didn't know. It was about 12 pm and I decided it was time for my lunch break. I was really sick of feeling this way, and I knew that I needed to snap out of it.
I knew that Satan was really getting to me. I realized right there, as I got up to leave for lunch, that Satan was succeeding in making me miserable. He is so jealous that I am on this earth with a body and so much happiness, that he was beating me down like a pinata. AND I WAS ALLOWING IT. 
As I walked out of that library, I walked straight into the ladies' room. Right when you walk in, there is a full body mirror. I made sure there was no one in the stalls, or standing by the sinks. I just stood there and looked at myself in that big mirror. It was almost like I wasn't even in my body; like I was staring at someone standing in front of me. I examined my body in the mirror for a couple of minutes. It felt very strange at first, but I stopped caring about how weird I felt doing it, and did it anyway. After all, no one knew what I was doing anyway!
After those few minutes, I looked at myself and said aloud, "Heather, you need to snap out of it. Do you know how strong you are?..."
Weird. This had never happened to me before. This wasn't the first time that I had given myself a mini pep talk in the mirror, to be quite honest, but this was the first time that it felt this almost indescribable feeling of not being in my own body. It was like my spirit was talking to my soul. I stared right into the eyes of that strange, yet familiar person who stood in front of me. She spoke to me saying "Satan is winning, and you need to shoo him away! You run your life, and all you need is the help of your Father in Heaven." That person in front of me reminded me that Satan is strong, but with the help of my Heavenly Father, I am stronger! That strong girl in the mirror reminded me that I am so much stronger that I think I am and that I am a daughter of God. She told me that for the rest of this day, I was going to be better. For the rest of this week, I was going to be better. And if I do something wrong, I don't need to carry that burden. All I need to do is pray to Heavenly Father and tell him how I didn't do my best, but I promise to try harder! Once I have done that, and I really do strive to be better, I don't have to carry that burden any longer. I don't have to worry about it because of the Atonement. Jesus Christ died on that cross and suffered for our sins to that we didn't have to suffer, and that is exactly what I was letting myself do: Suffer.
I didn't want to feel like this anymore. After telling myself that I was going to be better, and that the way to feel happier was simple as that, I felt as if I was in my own body again. I felt so much better. It was as if saying all of those things that I knew out loud instead of just merely thinking them made The Adversary disappear. I no longer felt that confusion, that sadness, or that guilt, but I felt comfort, I felt lighter, and I felt stronger than ever.

Through Christ, we can do all things. I know this is true. Satan pushes you, frightens you, confuses you, and discourages you, but God strengthens you, reassures you, leads you, comforts you, and encourages you. He loves you, and He will always be there.

Obviously, I struggle to remember these things all the time myself. From now on, I will remember this, and always know that I can be the best I can be, as long as I work alongside my Father in Heaven.


"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." -Joshua 1:9

Yours truly,

Heather