Well hey there!
I have been asked lots of questions about my life lately. And when I say lots, I mean LOTS.
The answer to all of them is "Yes."
I am dating "this Kyler guy" as he is commonly referred to (even though he is much more than that). I have gotten many judgmental comments, and messages, and I am quite surprised with a lot of my "friends" to be quite honest. I'm not going to tell the whole story, but before you jump to the conclusion that I have left my missionary, Tony, or that I am cheating on him with someone else, or even that I'm just lonely and I just need to have attention, keep in mind that maybe it's not entirely my fault or decision.
Lately, I have felt that so many of you have viewed me and a terrible person for "messing up his mission" or "distracting him", but have you ever thought that it's just as hard, if not HARDER for me than it is for him?
Anyway, I guess the point I'm trying to make is that, with ANYTHING, jumping to conclusions about someone can be very hurtful. Everyone does it, it doesn't make you horrible. Heck, even I catch myself doing it. We are human and it's just how we work. I have been hurting so bad about the situation with Tony, but I decided I wanted to stop keeping mine and Kyler's relationship a secret, so we went "Facebook Official" (haha;) for lack of a better phrase... and I got SO many great comments like "Finally!" or "You two are very cute! I'm so happy that you are happy!" or even "It makes me happy that you are doing what makes you happy, even when it's probably really hard." I can't tell you how relieved that made me feel. But it was the comments like "What about Tony?" or "You're screwing with his mission." or even a few choice swear words directed toward me, that's made me laugh. I laughed and tried to not let them get to me because I knew that this would happen from the beginning. I was prepared. But I can only do that to an extent. Those of you who REALLY know me know how hard it is for me to hurt people, and how hard it is for me to be hurt by someone that I love the most. If you know me, you should know that I don't take this lightly, and I wouldn't throw away something so wonderful for something temporary. It's those people that I really should care about.
I would like to thank EVERYONE who is supportive or even if you aren't supportive, those who were still kind about it. I would like to tell everyone who keeps up the messages and comments that are hurtful to please consider thinking about all of the possibilities that are going on before you jump to conclusions about a situation, or a person.
We all have our trials, we all deal with them differently, and I know without a doubt that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing right now. That's what is happening, so now you know.
"Yes."
There is my answer to all of you. :) And I am truly happy with the situation because I am trusting in The Lord and His plan for me. I have no idea what is going to happen in the long run, but I do know that He always knows what I should do better than I ever will.
One year ago when we were "chickacritt". |
And then we went on an adventure and attempted to fish with a homemade fishing pole. (As you can see, it was unsuccessful.) |
This Memorial Day weekend in Moab. |
Hello Heather,
ReplyDeleteI was a missionary that got "Dear Johned" and I can say that yes it sucks, but it is not the end of the world for an Elder. I think there is no easy way for a girl to say "I am leaving my missionary". I just hope that you were not one of those girls that swore they never would do anything like that. I can say that the mission changes a person and that the Tony you dated before his mission is probably not going to be the same Tony when he gets back from his mission.
You are a service missionary correct? I didn’t know they allowed relationships for Missionaries. All I can tell you is that less distractions for a missionary is always better. I hope all is well and I hope to meet you some day. Take care!
Drew
Thanks for reading Drew! That does help me a little. Yes, service missionaries are allowed to date, but your first priority should always be the mission. :) We will meet someday for sure! Thanks for the comment, I really do appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteThey told my husband you either lose your hair or a girl on a mission. He lost his girl. (Hooray for me!) But just think of all the girls who are praying for a returned missionary. Tony is being a great missionary and the future returned missionary of someone else's dreams. No worries. You need to do what your heart and the Spirit direct you. Be happy.
ReplyDeleteThank you so so much. That really makes me feel tons better. I don't know what will happen, but that makes me feel better. Thanks :):)
DeleteHeather I'm so happy to see you are doing well!! I wish I was in Utah so we could reminisce in our memories of Zoey and I could share your happiness!! I know we never got too close but I love to see someone doing something for themselves and their happiness :) your awesome!! ♡♥
ReplyDeleteI miss you so much!! Next time you are here we should get together. You are such a beautiful lady. :) Thanks for your support!
DeleteHeather I just discovered your blog and this is the first post I read. Don't you dare listen to what those people said. I'm a 24 RM and crazy enough waiting for a missionary so I understand. But it would hurt him and you even more if you were to hold out for him if it wasn't right. From what I grasp it is not like you are just dating this other guy for the sake of being in a relationship, you are doing it because it feels right. Your missionary will hurt, but he will grow from this and move on. If he doesn't it will only hurt him. You are not ruining his mission in anyway, if his mission is ruined it is his fault.
ReplyDeleteAgain I love your blog and now consider me a follower :)
Sierra
www.washingtontomexico.blogspot.com
Wow thank you! I'll follow you also! I can't wait to check it out. Thanks for your kind and wise words :) seriously.
DeleteLovely Heather, I had the exact same experience when I Dear Johned a missionary way back when. It killed me to know that in addition to my ex-mish thinking ill of me, many of my old "friends" from high school were thinking ill of me as well. I just want to tell you that you are WONDERFUL, and MARVELOUS, and that what you did was 100%, absolutely, for real, really really really A-OKAY!!! I'm SO happy for you, and so happy that you're happy!! :) Congratulations!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your side. I wish it could all be easier, but I know that you are learning and growing. I love you!
ReplyDelete-Love, Mom
I........ Can't........ Even........
ReplyDelete;)
Good for you Heather! I am really happy for you two, you look so cute together! Its hard when people don't think about what could be going on behind the scenes. Way to listen to the Lord and not let people get to you, its better to listen to him than to not , he will never lead you astray!
ReplyDeleteI am currently writing a missionary, but I can understand where you're coming from. I am dating around and sometimes I get the rudest remarks from people, especially the people that aren't members from home and love us together and don't understand that it's different when a guy is on a mission. I love how you chose to address it. I am preparing myself for that day, but like you said, I too, am trusting in the Lord and know that whatever is supposed to happen is what will happen!
ReplyDeleteOh, Heather, you have been through so much with Tony's mission and your own problems. Never let anyone put down your happiness. Just following you on Instagram and here, I can see you aren't someone who plays around with ANYONE'S emotions. The situation is something you are living, and others can only guess at. Be happy, and pray. That is my only advice, lol. You look really happy with this gentleman, and that makes me happy for you! <> Tony's mission is Tony's mission, not your responsibility. You didn't do anything maliciously, so breathe and carry on. ;)
ReplyDeleteForget the haters! You're an awesome person and you have your own unique plan. Every one should marry who they are happiest with and who Heavenly Father sees best fit for them. Not everyone is suppose to end up with their missionary HELLO PEOPLE WAKE UP. Anyway congrats girl I'll make a blog post in your honor! ������❤️❤️❤️
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