Well, here I am! I'm alive and kicking! I have been having a little bit of a blogging rut, and haven't known what to write. Heck, I STILL don't know what to write! But here I am, plastering some words onto your screen.
My favorite songs this week have been "What Now" by Rihanna, "Cheer Up!" by A Great Big World, "Magic" by Coldplay, and "Hold On" by Colbie Caillet. Can you say "emotional roller coaster"?
My best friend, Zoey, left on her mission on Wednesday, and I have made it almost a whole WEEK without my other half! Surprising, right? I would not have been able to do this without my OTHER best friend, Sydney, and without my friend Cassidy, AND without my parents, for sure. Those people are my rock. I have had so much drama lately, that if you were to crack open my brain and take a look at my thoughts, it would look like this:
This week was filled with happiness, depression, anxiety, excitement, confusion, and every other emotion that one could ever feel, and after all of that, I do not regret one single thing. Crazy, right? Every day this week, (maybe even every hour!) I have said something along the lines of, "I shouldn't have done that." or "Why did I just do that?" And then proceed to beat myself up. Guess what. I am done! I don't regret anything! Everything that has happened this week has happened for a reason. I am stronger because of it. At the moment, I don't feel so strong...in fact, I feel very weak and vulnerable...but I have faith that I will be so much stronger in the long run. I remembered why I do the things I do. I doubted myself. I doubted my feelings, I doubted my words, I literally doubted almost everything. I felt embarrassed and stupid about some things that had happened, and that they had happened because of stupid decisions I have made, but I now know that our Father in Heaven has given us free agency. He wants us to CHOOSE! He has a plan for us. And according to our choices, that plan changes. But there is ALWAYS a plan B for us. He gives us this life to make mistakes. He gives us this life to be stupid! (Not to be taken in the ways of YOLO.) Because how else would we learn what to do without being completely idiotic? ;) Trial and error, right? I would not be where I am right now if I hadn't said the things I said, or done the things I had done this week, good or bad! Sure, I still don't feel totally great about them, but I know that I have made my choice and there is no going back. I will never regret something that made me smile. When you live with regrets, you are living in the past.
Don't look back with regret, look forward with hope.
"We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future."
-Steve Maraboli
Yours Truly,
Heather
